///Indie Journal Daily///

Friday, February 03, 2012

I was hanging out at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch for a few months when a few of the working girls suddenly decided to go politico, so to speak, and support Ron Paul in the Nevada caucuses.

“They should call the Nevada primary voting ‘Caucus Caucus,’” I told one of the girls.

“This is serious stuff,” Pearltooth, a working gal popular for her unique ability to imitate Wayne Newton while performing oral pleasures, said.

Most of Carson City’s colorful brothel employees were serious when they said publicly they liked Ron Paul’s “positions.” I knew then that this was too easy to make jokes about and that I needed to respect the girls’ love for individual liberties in a broader sense (no pun intended).

However, I must admit that I was becoming jealous of the attention Mr. Paul was receiving. Since I began hanging out at the ranch I was twice voted “Most Handsome Customer For His Age,” as well as I was the only regular not using Viagra.

“I am very much for individual liberties,” I shouted in the waiting room as some gals paraded their goods.

Just then, a man with a Newt Gingrich grimace who had been waiting an hour to be served, growled, “Who does someone have to f^^k to get laid around here?”

I asked the girls why they didn’t go for Mitt Romney, who was younger and more handsome than Mr. Paul.

“I don’t like how Mormons taste,” said Sally Grinds.

“The idea of having an orgasm and shouting ‘Mitt’ just turns me off,” said Jane Belows.

“If he is as stiff down there as he is giving a speech, I might change my mind,” said Moore Eaton.

I promised them all I would help them campaign for Mr. Paul and eventually I became a supporter, too. I am hoping that if Mr. Paul becomes President we can legalize prostitution all over the country and I can earn a handsome living as an agent for all my girlfriends. Yes, that would make me a pimp but that’s just one small step above being a politician.

Frank Cotolo 1:35 PM